Canapés of Grey Squirrel

A top restaurant is serving up free grey squirrel pancakes to hungry diners.

Nuts: Grey Squirrel is served in canapes
Peking duck-style squirrel wraps are being offered to diners at The Famous Wild Boar Hotel. The restaurant at Crook, near Windermere, in Cumbria, is giving diners the chance to try the canapes free of charge. The grey squirrels were caught in the hotel's 72-acre woodland grounds and have been prepared by head chef Marc Sanders.

Nibble: Wild Boar Hotel head chef Marc Sanders with the Peking duck-style squirrel treats

I couldn't make this stuff up... thank you, I'll pass, vermin makes me queezy... Although I like the angle that it helps endangered brown squirrels.
Or, "Sometimes you get the nut, sometimes the Nuts get you."
Or, even better, "This doesn't have a fly-squirrel's chance in Hell of catching on in Boston!"

To bad we have lots of fat grey squirrels in Beantown, and they are TRASH feed. I'm not knocking it I'm just saying this is out there for you culinary enjoyment. It's nice to see British Cuisine coming into it's own with historical dishes like this. In Maine where I grew up this Grey Squirrel Pancake was also know as "roadkill". You needed a spatula and burlap bag to collect it thats all. My favorite line from the article is "I haven't tried grey squirrel but people I know who have say it tastes like chicken used to taste when it tasted like chicken."

Food Don'ts

Don't eat the green ones that’s for sure, it has been my observation that most crustaceans such as lobsters, crabs, crawdads turn reddish when cooked. ("dish", get it! ) I agree that eating things out of the sewer is to be avoided, I think that is above the rule don't eat the yellow snow. Yup, I don't even need to call my mother on that one...

I'm trying to eat my way through the animal kingdom; I’m up to 147 critters, although I have a couple rules.

1) Don't eat things from sewers.
2) No primates or above, this includes chilled monkey brains.
3) No German shepherds
4) No octopus' unless it would be rude; squid are fair game (they are predatory bastards); cuddle fish are marginal.
5) Avoid vermin; i.e. rats, door mice, and wild caught urban rabbits.
6) Cannibalism is only allowed if the other person is dead first and there are no alternatives as grubs, ants, aunts, cats, dogs, or birds around. Don't eat random frozen corpses you find in ice.
7) Pigeons, seagulls, and squirrels count as vermin.
8 ) Don't eat clowns they taste funny.
9) Don't eat the brains of ancestors they could contain sub-viral diseases similar to mad-cow-disease.
10) Always ask what exactly is in the dish if ordering in a foreign country such as France, Spain, China, Japan, or Malaysia. Although last time I was in France I added about 15 critters to the “Ate List.”
11) Never eat the "meat-on-a-stick" severed in a Korean Beer tent, or any beer tent as far as that goes. Actually, avoid meat on a stick in general especially where hygiene or meat suppliers are suspect.
12) If it doesn't smell right don't eat it.
13) Lettuce should be green; shades of olive or yellowed-green don't count. Beige is to be composted.
14) Avoid things that are described to you as "wafer thin" when you are stuffed. (ref: Meaning of Life, Monty Python)
15) If you have to choke something down request one of the following: a) it be smothers with butter or oil and garlic (snails, grubs, etc) b) it be covered in chocolate (grasshoppers, bumble bees, crunchy-frog), and/or c) a cold beer be supplied (oysters).
16) Worms are for the birds, unless you are on a morning show with a worm-do cooking expert .
17) Don’t eat the green ones, this includes Soylent Green.
18 ) Peas are a fruit not a mortar, avoid them if they are not green.

There are a few other things on this list but they are mostly contextual.

Ouch!!! Orchid Thief

At least one could say “I am an Orchid Thief”… of sorts. . I was in Florida last week for a little R&R and spent some time flip-flopping to the beach to-&-fro. Along the way I spotted a cactus growing out of a ornamental mangrove tree. After a day or two I figured out it was an Orchid Cactus (Epiphyllums) of which my house has two already. Plus, have been trying to convince a friend to trade me cuttings of his white midnight blooming variety.

The Florida cactus had a ton of bloom buds and the flower is impressive 4 to 8 inches across and lasts for a day. So I swiped a pad from the rundown empty summer rental and have brought it home to Massachusetts (Zone 5). I usually ask for cutting from people gardens and am hardly ever refused. I’ve found gardener’s like to share their plants and garden knowledge. Even if they are a curmudgeon normally.


Have let the cut scab over and will place it in a sandy loam pot with some wood chips to hold moisture. And hang it in the sunniest widow and pray that it lives. Then next May I will put it out on the sunny porch with the others and let the sun bake it; this effort might reward me in 3 years with a bloom… ah!... gardening the teacher of hope and patience.

Epiphyllums, commonly referred to as Epis, or Orchid cacti, have tremendous blooms - in size, color, & FRAGRANCE! Fragrance is the one aspect of Epis that is simply not admirable unles you own one. A single bloom on an 'orchid cactus' has the ability to incense an entire house. Though they don't bloom often, and in many cases blooms only last a single night, stunning beauty and ease of care make Epiphyllums a wonderful plant that can suit many lifestyles. Attractive and for themost part disease free foliage also makes them brilliant plants when they are not blooming!

For more info on orchid cactus take a look at these sites & pictures:

San Diego Epiphullum Society, Inc.
Wikipedia - Epiphyllum
Albert’s Greenhouse
Epiphyllums Orchid Cacti Pictures
GardenWeb - Orchid Cacti

“A human being isn't an orchid, he must draw something from the soil he grows in”

~~ Sara Jeannette Duncan quotes

Falling for Compost

Fall is one of the best and worst of seasons for me. David Letterman once quipped “Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.” Which are sort of my sentiments; I can’t wait for the leaves to fall and dry so my feet can drag through them and hear the crunch in the crisp cool air. However, gardening time is finishing up, I might get some peas out of the garden and some late lettuce, but basically, it’s over. No fresh produce in the garden, no watering chores at 6am in the morning. I get to rest like the ground until spring.

Well sort of… there is the compost pile, my pride & joy. I have been composting all the kitchen scraps, cutting, and flower deadhead all summer. Plus the score of the lawnmower bags that neighbors give me. The thing is we will have to do something with about 12 bags of leaves that always seem to accumulate around my apartment. My bin is already three-quarters full so I need to use some of this ASAP and make plans for the incoming material. Many towns in urban areas offer discounts on compost bins call your park & recreation, or waste disposal department, or department of public works. If your town doesn’t offer this ask why not, because they are missing out on federal grant money, and see if they have a reciprocal agreement with a neighboring town. This is a perfect time to get a compost bin started in your own back yard. Composting is easy. Add dried leaves (brown), fresh grass clippings (greens) and food scraps (nutrients) to the bin or pile, water and let nature take its course. You can create a choir for the kids to go and turn the compost bin every couple of weeks, but it isn’t necessary. I like to add a shovel full of dirt to the pile every layer of so, this adds grit to the pile so that it breaks down and helps retain moisture.

Why do you need green and brown layers of material in a compost pile? That is a good question and you can find lots of info at http://www.epa.gov/compost/ or http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Composting . These sites will help you get started. BTW: you don’t need to buy a bin if you don’t want to; you can just dig a hole and fill it, or make a compost pile. It all depends on the amount of room you have and your sense of ascetics. And perhaps you neighbor senses.

Anyway, next spring you will probably not need to buy as much compost or mulch to amend and cover the flower & vegetable beds and you will have to save perhaps a hundred cubic feet of space in the local landfill. You will have recycled the material into your own environment and it will do a lot of good.

If you just don’t want to compost may I suggest to find out where your yard waste can be sent to be made into mulch or compost? Most towns can help you with this too.